Chefs notes from last night.
Arrived at units tonight and it took me back to my younger days when I was in the men’s refuge.
It’s such an eerie feeling compared to the Friday Saturday nights when even though it’s rough and people are wrecked there is atmosphere and people chatting even though most of it is shit. But pulling into the driveway it was dark. No movement no lights no atmosphere just a silence.
To anyone that hasn’t been to places like this they might think everything is alright, people are quiet nothing is going to go wrong but from my experience it’s these quiet nights that hurt the most.
Everyone around you has no money, nothing to do except sit and watch telly. It’s nights like these that you sit in your own head and contemplate what you don’t have, where you are, all the crap you’ve done or had done. It’s moments like these that you feel your darkest and loneliest and lowest.
When the weekend comes someone’s bound to have something to take this feeling away then in turn trouble follows but being in your head like everyone else around you because dole is another week away is worse than the trouble.
These moments are why many of us will take any opportunity to have something to numb these days. Boredom, loneliness and darkness are brightened. If by knocking on their door and breaking that for 1/2 hour to give them something warm to eat and something for the next day at least it’s something else to think about to break the darkness.
Sometimes a bit of unexpected excitement from the day can help you get out of your head.
It’s days like these I’m cherishing visits and one reason why I do go to these places so I can start to break a cycle that I know well.